Has Anyone Seen Ron?

Posted by on August 21, 2013

A Monday Morning Memo from The Wizard of Ads

I’m having a bad day. I’ve been searching for a friend of mine, but something seems to have happened to him and I fear the worst. Ron and I grew up together, then went our separate ways, but I still associate him with many of my most tender memories. Looking back at our childhood together, the movies that play in my mind are like those TV ads for Hallmark Cards. Ron was like Opie Griffith in my Norman Rockwell world. He was there when I bought my first car. He tagged along on my first date. Ronald was good times.

You remember Ronald, don’t you? Ron made his employer a billionaire, then his employer tossed him aside. He laughed and danced and sold us burgers and fries when we were kids, but then we all grew up and Ron’s boss didn’t let Ron adapt to the changing times. When you and I got married and had kids, Ron’s boss didn’t consider letting Ron get married and have a wife and kids of his own. Ron’s boss must have thought we were coming for the burgers and fries.

So instead of letting Ron stay in touch with us, Ron’s boss changed the burgers and fries and pretended that his company had become something it could never be. The week he did it, I went on record with a prediction the plan would fail, and it turns out that I was right.*

Now things have gone from bad to worse. We didn’t buy the Arch Deluxe, so Ronald’s boss has announced he’s cutting the price. But it was never about price. It was never about the burgers at all. It was about a way of life. Those golden arches were nothing less than a Statue of Liberty for every kid in America.

They’re cutting the price and that makes me sad because I still believe in McDonald’s. It is McDonald’s who doesn’t believe in McDonald’s any more.

Has anyone seen Ron?

Roy H. Williams

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